Happy Puzzle #100! I wanted to get this milestone right, so I spent a lot of time brainstorming ideas. Unfortunately, I ended up with six puzzles I liked a lot and no way to choose between them. So, I gave each puzzle a number, rolled a die, and decided to publish the puzzle whose number came up.
I rolled a four, so here's the puzzle I chose! It's... a list of Cake Boss episode summaries? Huh. I gotta be honest, I was hoping I didn't roll a four because this was the puzzle I wrote in my phone before going to sleep and now I can't make any sense of it. It's not even a crossword. And, looking at it now, these might not even be real episodes? Maybe you can help me out here.
NOTE 9/19, 12:37 PM: Added a question mark to the description of Episode 6. Thanks Evan Birnholz for pointing it out!
REMEDIAL CAKE BOSS THEORY
EPISODE 1: Buddy is approached by a couple with an unusual support animal—instead of a furry friend, they have a feathery fella! He bakes a cake showing the support animal helping its owners feel better with a few talon caresses. He calls the cake ??????? ?[?]???.
EPISODE 2: Buddy is approached by a teacher who wants a cake for her English class's end-of-the-school-year party. He bakes a cake showing a kid reading, and staring in awe as all sorts of wild and imaginative things come from the pages. He calls the cake ???[?] ????.
EPISODE 3: Buddy is approached by someone who wants a cake for a '90s throwback party. He bakes a cake looking like a classic character, complete with a lime-flavored jacket and glasses with frames made out of licorice. He calls it [?]????.
EPISODE 4: Buddy is approached by a classic jazz fan, who wants an old-fashioned cake the jazzy way. Buddy bakes a cake shaped like one of his favorite jazz singers (and even uses blueberries for his ol' blue eyes). He calls the cake ????? [?]??????.
EPISODE 5: Buddy is approached by a sports nut all the way from Colorado, who wants an epic cake for Draft Day. Buddy bakes a cake shaped like a basketball player, repping the Mile High State itself. He calls the cake ?????[?].
EPISODE 6: Buddy is approached by a furniture store owner who wants a cake for an upcoming furniture gala. Buddy bakes a cake showing one of the store's more luxurious items—while putting his own national twist on it! He calls the cake [?]?????? ??????? ????.
EPISODE 7: Buddy is approached by a farmer who just lost her one of her animals, and wants a cake to bring to the funeral. As a condolence, Buddy bakes a cake showing it frolicking around in clouds almost as white and fluffy as the animal itself! He calls the cake ????? ?? [?]? ??????.
EPISODE 8: Buddy is approached by a barber, and he wants a cake for a birthday party. Buddy bakes a cake of the barber's head, complete with some righteous, well-maintained face furniture. He calls the cake ?????[?]?? ???.
EPISODE 9: Buddy is approached by a fashion show, asking him to make the centerpiece cake at the reception. Buddy bakes a cake shaped like a stylish outfit, but there's a problem—he made the top so big, he only had enough cake for a really small bottom! He calls the cake ?[?]??? ?????/???? ??????.
____ ??? ??????
That's #100! I wonder if the puzzle would've been less confusing if I had rolled another number.
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